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Thursday, May 1, 2008

experiences in the field

Jessica N. Pham
Warfare in the 20th Century
Alfred Hunt

FIELD WORK PAPER

Brief personal narrative:

Selecting Semester at Sea as my study abroad program was a decision that resulted in personal conflicting thoughts and occasionally even doubt. For some time, I questioned if the program was “right” for me. On one hand, I felt that had I settled on a program set in one location (such as Paris, France or Buenos Aires, Argentina), I would have truly experienced a single culture in its entirety. On the other hand, the idea of sailing around the world and seeing many cultures, no matter how briefly, is a concept so remarkable that it struck me as almost unreal. As the program progressed, I steadily adjusted to the immediate changes that had occurred in my life upon leaving to study abroad. I grew to love the program, and I do not regret choosing Semester at Sea. I am grateful to be a part of the small percentage of the population that has circumnavigated the globe.

Though it may sound cliché, one truly finds himself during a life-changing experience such as studying or living abroad. I questioned many aspects of human nature that I never had previously. My inner debates and questionings were focused more and more on why people behave the way they do, or make the decisions that they do.

As we ventured further along into our voyage, I experienced a personal epiphany. I realized that I had finally mastered the skill of traveling. Rather than remaining simply a tourist, I have evolved into a true traveler. The fact of the matter is I derive more pleasure from exploring than I do from sightseeing. I personally prefer to backpack through a country without a set itinerary or destination in mind. I realized also that I usually felt frustrated after taking part in tourist groups or visiting an overcrowded memorial or museum. So thus developed a new debate within my mind: are the effects of tourism positive or negative? To whom are the results of tourism most beneficial, the presenter or the observer?

Essay: The Clashing Aspects of Tourism

The general concept of tourism is simple and seemingly positive. A country or society has willingly allowed a significant part of their culture to be witnessed and experienced by others. But what is the reasoning that lies behind exposing these memorials, war sites, and museums? Is tourism used to educate the general public? Alter preconceived notions? Portray a political message or standing? Or is a historical site simply used as a means for monetary benefit? Suddenly, the questions seem endless.

A visit to the Cu Chi Tunnels and the Cao Dai Temple in Vietnam reaffirmed a personal curiousness towards the contradicting aspects of tourism. As the field trip began, I immediately perceived the tour guide to be biased. Before crawling through the intricate three-layer tunnel system utilized during the Vietnam War by the North Vietnamese and followers of Ho Chi Minh and the Communist party, our group was briefed on the history of the war in accordance to the tour guide. It was almost shocking to hear an “us versus you” presentation—I found myself personally questioning whether she thought that I should be ashamed for being Vietnamese-American. I also wondered how she and the rest of her company would have reacted if they had known that my parents are from southern Vietnam and left what was then Saigon around the times of the war. After concluding that I was possibly reading too deeply into things, I attempted to take in the remainder of the Cu Chi Tunnels visit with a neutral approach. However, it seemed that the biased beliefs remained on her part. The fact that the Vietnam War began as a civil conflict seemed to be forgotten, and that significant aspect went unmentioned all together. It was not presented as North Vietnam versus South Vietnam or a Communist state versus a Republic, but rather “us against you, the Americans.” A mural of stereotypical images of American soldiers stood behind a display of different types of traps the Viet Cong used during the war. The illustrations featured men that were clearly depicted to be American: large, tall, blond-haired and blue-eyed, with large noses and broad shoulders, falling into human traps wearing foolish expressions on their faces. The tour guide would then narrate along the lines of “then you guys would fall into these traps we invented,” followed by a menacing grin. I was not quite sure how to react, and I know several of my peers were also left with an uneasy feeling.

To be standing on the horrific battle grounds that once saw extreme violence and conflict should have been a surreal experience. Instead, the more souvenir stands I walked by, the more frustrated I became. When I reached the point in the tour in which there was an opportunity to pay money to fire guns, I became passionately angry and questioned the motive of the Cu Chi Tunnels tour. What was the current, direct intention of this historical site turned tourist area? To portray the United States and the South Vietnamese as unintelligent or unsuccessful? Or does it simply come down to the fact that there are two sides to every story, and it is often difficult to remain unbiased? I realize that though every individual perceives any sort of presentation in different ways, I still question the validity and the motives of the presenters. I wondered if we as Americans feel (possibly at a subconscious level) that it is our civic duty to visit these sites in which we had once wreaked havoc or lost lives. Moreover, I would like to know how other non-American foreigners would perceive a tour such as the one I had experienced, and whether they would view what they saw objectively.

Furthermore, I was slightly embarrassed to see some of my fellow peers be more concerned with taking cheery photographs and purchasing souvenirs as evidence of their visit. Had they gone on the field trip because they had heard about this so-called “bloody war” in past history classes or from their parents, and felt obligated to visit the area since they were already conveniently in the country? It seems as though many feel the need to visit a historical site or memorial only to justify and prove that they were in a country. Though this is certainly not always the case, it is often all too common.

Several of my peers visited the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh City. Upon discussing their visit afterwards, I learned that they too shared my uneasiness toward how it portrayed the war and were shocked at all the notions of anti-America. I find it both fascinating and disturbing that the museum had once been known as “The Museum for American War Crimes,” and worse, “The House for Displaying War Crimes of American Imperialism and the Puppet Government of South Vietnam.” And as we as Americans refer to it as the “Vietnam War,” it is known to many Vietnamese citizens as the “American War.”

My experience visiting the Cao Dai Temple, however, contradicted my Cu Chi Tunnels tour immensely. Another facet of tourism was displayed: tourism utilized in a manner to expose and educate, but in a different sense. Cao Daiists were praying and going through their usual rituals, while onlookers observed. I found this to be encouraging. Tourism was being used to represent the present, rather than recreate the past. Furthermore, it is encouraging when a faith or culture welcomes others to observe and learn more about important aspects of their ways.

During our time in Japan, I visited the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum. I felt less uneasy than I had felt in Cu Chi, Vietnam. Still, was this museum composed of a series of artifacts that a general public desired to see? Or was it a representation and exhibit portraying a hopeful desire for peace? I am leaning towards the latter concept; the museum was moving and highly educational. As I left the museum, however, I cringed as I walked past a souvenir shop selling overpriced t-shirts that had anti-nuclear weapons messages or “Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum” sprawled across them.

Initially, tourism appeared to be a simple concept. After voyaging around the world, I came to realize that it is multifaceted and complex. Is an aspect of a culture simply condensed and minimized to fit the expectations of the tourist? Or does it shed a light upon past events to prevent history itself from being buried?

excerpt from EAT PRAY LOVE

“what’s got you all wadded up?” he drawls, toothpick in his mouth, as usual.
“don’t ask,” i say, but then i start talking and every bit of it, concluding with, “and worst of all, i can’t stop obsessing over david. i thought i was over him, but it’s all coming up again.”
he says, “give it another 6 months, you’ll feel better.”
“i’ve already given it 12 months, richard.”
“then give it 6 more. just keep throwin’ 6 months at it till it all goes away. stuff like this takes time.”
i exhale hotly through my nose, bull-like.
“Groceries,” richard says, “listen to me. someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. you’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it—in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. take this time, every minute of it. let things work themselves out here in india.”
“but i really loved him.”
“big deal. so you fell in love with someone. don’t you see what happened? this guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, i mean you got zapped, kiddo. but that love you felt, that’s just the beginning. you just got a taste of love. that’s just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. heck, Groceries—you have the capability to someday love the whole world. it’s your destiny. don’t laugh.”
“i’m not laughing.” i was actually crying. “and please don’t laugh at me now, but i think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because i seriously thought he was my soul mate.”
“he probably was. your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. people think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. but a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. a true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. but to live with a soul mate forever? nah. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. and thank God for it. your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. it’s over, Groceries. david’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of a marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. that was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. problem is, you can’t accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. you’re like a dog at the dump, baby—you’re just lickin’ at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. and if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. so drop it.”
“but i love him.”
“so love him.”
“but i miss him.”
“so miss him. send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. you’re just afraid to let go of the bits of david because then you’ll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. but here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. if you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot—a doorway. and guess what the universe will do with that doorway? it will rush in—God will rush in—and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. so stop using david to block that door. let it go.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert, page 148

war thesis

this is the intro from my final, 12-page thesis that i have to defend for my history class. i haven’t written a history paper since AP U.S. History class in HIGH SCHOOL, so it has been an “interesting” experience. just thought i’d tack it onto my blog since this is a place where i can post some of my work slash really random crap :)

Warfare is in fact endemic to human nature. It is merely inevitable and unavoidable. This follows the common belief or concept that “history repeats itself.” War does not cease to exist. Regardless of whether it is seen as irrational, unjustifiable, or simply wrong, it is still undeniable. The question then is, how do we rationalize the reasons of why some nations choose to involve themselves in warfare and mass killings?

Albert Einstein once stated, “The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.” The threat of the atomic bomb and nuclear weapons came about in the twentieth century. Today, there are many nations who are in possession of nuclear arms, and among them is the United States of America. Can warfare be eliminated altogether if these weapons no longer existed? Or will abolishing them only rid of one aspect of warfare, a horrific reality that will always exist?

We must first allow ourselves to look at warfare objectively. We must break it down into its bare elements and attempt to rationalize what war is.

Quotes to use in thesis:
“Every time you buy a rifle, you’re taking away food from someone.” ~Dwight Eisenhower
“Loyalty to my country at all times. Loyalty to my government when it deserves it.” ~Mark Twain
“Terrorism is the war of the poor, and war is the terrorism of the rich.” ~Peter Yustanoff
“Beware of a standing army.” ~FDR
“As long as war’s wicked, we are interested. As soon as it becomes vulgar, we lose interest.” ~Oscar Wilde

Rough outline:

  • paragraph 1: war is inevitable in society
    • you’re always fighting the last battle
    • use Sun Tzu, “the art of war”
    • certain cultures are just warlike
    • 1st word in western civilization = “RAGE” (the iliad)
    • moral equivalent of war (william james)
    • war is an extension of politics
  • paragraph 2: when is war justifiable? when used for DEFENSIVE reasons
    • nations only get directly involved if it has to do with them
    • is it reasonable? yes, it makes sense.
    • or is it selfish? don’t help other nations out, just wait until you are affected
    • no one will take action/get involved unless triggered/threatened**
  • paragraph 3: U.S. should remain an isolationist nation
    • but we are not…we are the bullies
    • the U.S. is not “innocent”
    • always involved in others’ affairs and nosy…BUT, we need to be in order to remain world’s strongest nation/power
    • dates back to “white man’s burden” and manifest destiny
  • paragraph 4: nuclear weapons race, A-bomb
    • U.S., India, China, France, etc.
    • Japan’s standing: Hiroshima (peace)
    • government is secretive—have faith in them? support them? or let them be because sometimes you just would rather not know about what they’re hiding? (use mark twain quote)
  • paragraph 5: GETTING TO THE POINT
    • the present = war on terrorism = urgent
    • is anyone going to use the A-bomb?
    • once there's a threat = more urgency
    • otherwise, deny war and don’t want to be involved
    • 4 states of warfare (currently in clash of civilizations, unavoidable)
    • A bomb vs. mass bombing over time
  • paragraph 6: ARGUE OTHER SIDE
    • rephrase albert Einstein quote. talk about his standing with the manhattan project
    • people against dropping the bomb (gov’t vs. military decisions)
    • need to eliminate a bomb and nuclear weapons
    • no war if no threat
  • conclusion
    • restate thesis

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

i'm still alive!

if anyone sees any from my family, my roommate, etc.
.................please let them know that i am alive and that i (barely) survived India!!!! thanks!!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

INDIA.

i think india is the turning point of this amazing journey. i have been looking forward to india for about a year now, and india was ultimately why i chose semester at sea in the end. it is going to be life-changing and very humbling. there's no way to prepare for what we are about to see. i'm spending 1 day in delhi, 1 in agra, 1 in the eternal city of varanasi (including seeing the ganges river rituals), and 1 day in chennai. as one of our staff members said, "if you're not going to have any revelations here in india, it's just not going to happen for you at all on this trip." although i don't necessarily agree with this statement completely (i think it will lead to people feeling like they need to say that they are humbled after india), i think it is to be expected for many of us. i want to taste, touch, smell, hear, and see india for all that it is, and in turn be grateful for all that's in my life. i'm tired of taking the littlest things for granted.

madisen sent me a few good words today. "there is no need to be healing and moving on because It's. Not. Over. I'd like to think that Semester at Sea is almost like a completely different life you're renting for 5 months. Almost like a chapter from a different book got popped into the story, "The Everyday Life of Jessica Pham." Don't get your books mixed up! We'll all be here when you get back... a little different than we were, but generally the same... just like you :)" thanks mady k!

i miss everyone at home and i will write after india.

Monday, March 3, 2008

quick update from Mauritius

bonjour! i'm currently at an internet cafe in mauritius and just wanted to update quickly. i'll add more later.

-i'm in love with cape town, south africa. definitely going back for the 2010 world cup. if you're in, let me know. it's an amazing place. i definitely felt that i didn't have enough time there. it was simply breathtaking.

-my 3 day safari was the shiiiizz! i got a lot of great shots and video footage. wish i could post the videos... :(

-currently in mauritius... a small island near madagascar. this is known as the 'spring break' port of SAS... yeeeaaaahh i'll leave it at that for now.
-i've been sick practically every other week because of all the hour changes and probably just a weak immune system. last night i woke up from a nap with green gunk in my eyes and nose treasures all over my face. pretty!!

-our next port is INDIA. i've been looking forward to going to india for almost a year now. i know it's going to be a humbling experience.


-i wish i had time to truly blog right now. one realization i've had is that though i will see a lot of phenomenal sights across the world, this experience is also about the smaller things: being able to hold a memorable conversation with a stranger, singing random songs with my roommate in our room, and getting up at 5am to watch an african sunrise. these are the little things that make this experience worthwhile.

-last but not least: this should've been the VERY first thing to write in my blog:

this is the most unique experience i've ever been through. EVER.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Neptune Day!

hola! We are on day 5 of 10 at sea, on our way to CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA!! This is one of the ports that i’m most excited for! i will be going on a 3 day safari, observing a current HIV/AIDS project, taking part in Operation Hunger, hiking Table Mountain, and we’re going to try to catch a ferry to Robben Island to see Mandela’s old prison cell and learn more about south africa’s apartheid history. We get to cape town on Tuesday, February 19th.

Today is by far the most turbulent weather we’ve encountered so far. We’ve hit rough waters and we are really rocking. When i’m laying in bed, i actually shift and slide around. My deodorant that was sitting on a shelf went flying across the room, and i had to stuff breakables into my pajama drawer. All our books and clocks and junk on our dressers slid to the floor in one particular rough patch. Some crew just came into our room to screw/seal shut our porthole window so that we can’t see outside. It’s because if a log or huge wave happens to hit our porthole, it could shatter the glass (and then there'd be flooding. no bueno). this is kinda scary but also exciting in a weird way. As long as it doesn’t become like what happened in the spring ’05 voyage. If you guys are bored, look up semester at sea spring 2005 on YouTube. Insane. Today is nothing though… tomorrow is supposed to be HELL, and it’ll also be rough on the 19th when we get into port—Cape Town is notorious for rough waters. I have yet to skip class, but if it’s really horrible tomorrow, i don’t know how well i can handle sitting in class in the union, which is in the front of the boat, where it rocks the most…

BRAZIL was a blast. Our port city, Salvador, was the 1st capital of brazil (it then changed to Rio de Janeiro, then Brasilia). We were surprised at how destitute this section of Salvador seemed to be. Still, it was awesome to be immersed in Bahia and its culture—Bahia is the “state” that Salvador is in (kind of like how we have counties). walking from our ship to the city was a doozy. We had to walk down a long street that reeked strongly of urine (that had been baking in the hot sun all day) everytime we left or came back to the ship. We started calling it “pee street” and “baked pee street” towards the end. One of the coolest aspects of brazil in my opinion is its crazy elevation changes. Slums and cities are built high up, down low, and all in between. The people of salvador take a giant “lacerda,” or elevator, into old upper city, called Pelhourino. This giant elevator was built in 2002—think of a Disney/six flags “tower of doom” or drop-ride. That’s what this elevator looked like, only obviously not as quick of a drop. We had to learn our basic Portuguese because no English is spoken whatsoever in Salvador. Learning phrases like “bom jia” (good morning ...i definitely didn’t spell that right), “hola” and “oi” (hi), “tudo bom?” (how are you?), “obrigato” (thank you), “quantos e” (how much does this cost?), and “desculpa” (sorry/excuse me) definitely helped us get by. Portuguese is a beautiful language and i’d love to learn more of it someday.

The night of Tuesday, Feb. 5 was the last night of CARNAVAL. I can honestly say that carnaval is truly the biggest shit-show of a party i’ve EVER witnessed. We didn’t get a spot in any roped off areas because it was way too expensive. But i didn’t feel threatened or unsafe at all being on the streets during carnaval as long as i was around at least 1 or 2 guys at all times. it was just a damn good time. We went in a group of 60 or so SASers and experienced the madness together on the streets. Giant trucks drive down the streets with bands playing loud music and groups of dancers and celebrators are parading in front of the trucks. I loved just dancing in the streets with crazy brazilian crowd…awesome experience. It’s pretty hard to describe it in a written way, but i took a whole disposal camera full of carnaval photos…i will just have to develop them when i get back to the states. But to sum up, carnaval = shit show. I know Amy can vouch for that too. (P.S. i’m doing the “try the local beer in every country” thing, so… Update: the local cheap beers in brazil were decent, one is called “Skol” and another is called “Nova Schin". They cost about 1-2 American dollars each.)

We spent the next day at a brazilian beach called Flamingo beach—it was 35 minutes away and trying to hail a cab was an “adventure” when the Portuguese and English languages are completely incomprehensible to one another. We wanted to get away from town since there would be a bunch of hungover, post-Carnaval Brazilians at the local beaches. The beach was fun and Brazilians are crazy passionate…making out everywhere! The ladies wear the skimpiest swimsuits and the guys sport banana hammocks or little tiny swim shorts. Hehehe. but we did almost die in the cab ride back—no exaggeration. I feared for my life.

That night we explored Salvador night life. This wasn’t like Puerto Rico where we could just walk around in standard going-out clothes. Couldn’t show too much skin and had to be around at least one male at all times. We found a bar called Sankofah’s and it’s an African bar. It was a lot of fun, and several regulars spoke English so it was a nice little bonus. In brazil they have a drink called Capriana (totally butchered the spelling) and it’s sugarcane, lime, and rum…very refreshing! we had a fun night dancing to reggae and salsa and some American music. I tried to request “Soulja Boy” but they didn’t have it. Haha i’m an idiot. We left late, so the walk back to the ship was pretty nerve-wracking. Lots of skeezy people out, lots of children begging in the streets. I am honestly able to say that i watched a 5 year old chug a beer (that had already been drunken out of) and crush the can afterwards. It was sad.

Most of the kids on the ship (those who weren’t on trips to Rio or the Amazon) scored tickets to a real live futebol aka SOCCER game on Thursday night! It was the local state we were in, Bahia, versus Pocio. I bought a couple jerseys to bring home :) The intensity of the game itself wasn’t as exhilarating as i had expected brazilian soccer to be, but it was still a damn good time and i’m stoked i can say i’ve witnessed South American “futbol".

On our last full night in Salvador, many of my friends and i went to an event called Bahia by Night. It was an evening of watching traditional dances and martial arts of brazil, followed by an African-influenced dinner. The performances were awesome to watch, especially for me since i recently completed my dance minor and just finished learning about world dance & culture last semester at CU. It was refreshing to be surrounded by dance and performance again…i have been deprived from it for so long already!! i wish there was a ballet class or something on the boat. Anyways, the food was interesting… i made sure to try everything at least… except for the ox tongue. That night we went out on the town again but we weren’t up for staying out too late or anything since we wanted to get last minute shopping done the next day. My friend paul got pick-pocketed in the giant elevator on our way back!! Poor paul, he was so concerned with protecting us girls. When we got in the elevator, a sleazy guy ran in last minute and got behind our group. Paul remembered that the man seemed to have shifty eyes and was looking at us, so paul stood behind us girls. When we got to the bottom of the city, the guy was the first to jet from the elevator. We’re pretty sure he was the guy who pick-pocketed paul because we were relatively safe and alert earlier and throughout the night. Paul was smart and did not make a scene in town when he realized his wallet was missing—he waited until we were back near the ship. He had his debit card, phone cards, and ship ID stolen. Thank goodness it wasn’t a violent attack though. Another kid talked to us when we were getting back on the ship and he told us he had been mugged by a guy who pulled a knife on him (i think it was a switch blade) and he had to give the guy all his money (70 reals – brazilian money). There were a few other incidents that happened during carnaval and stuff, but most of the time i did not feel too scared during my time in salvador. You just had to be smart about things and appear confident.

On our last day in port, we spent the day shopping and picking up last minute items. I picked up some brazilian coffee for my dad and a Brasil soccer jersey for my broha. I also bought lots of jewelry for myself and my friends, as well as a million pairs of Havaianas. They are a brand of flip flops that are becoming trendy in the U.S. (i think they are sold in Urban Outfitters and in surf shops), and they are brazilian… love them. We also stocked up at the local market and we went to a real mall—brazilians are pretty trendy.

Today is Neptune Day on the ship! It’s also valentine’s day…but who cares. I’m definitely not celebrating it (ha). We have the day off from class—our schedule is really random because sometimes we have class on Saturdays and Sundays, other days we are at port for 5 or so days at a time and don’t have class. So these days off are our “weekends.” We have been gaining an hour every other day. So essentially we lose an hour of sleep every other night. By tomorrow, we will be ahead of eastern time by 5 hours, and ahead of CO by 7 hours. right now it’s 7:25pm here, 3:25pm in NYC and 1:25pm in boulder. I am taking a midterm on Sunday morning for my 8am class, and technically i’ll be taking it at 2am eastern time!!!! And cape town is 7 hours ahead of the east coast. Geez, not so healthy for the mind and bod. I’ve been sick and stuffy with a cold that refuses to go away and i’ve been hoarse and coughing since carnaval night… go fig. Okay i’m done talking about all these time-change shenanigans.

So, neptune day. It’s a traditional day of semester at sea. It normally happens when we cross the equator, which happened a while back, so i’m not sure why they delayed it this late. SASers traditionally get awoken at the butt-crack of dawn (well, like 7am) with staff/crew in costume, marching down the halls banging on instruments, blowing whistles, and pounding on our doors to wake us up. Our dean, Kenn, was King Neptune. We can choose to get fish chum/guts poured on us and then jump in the pool, kiss a real fish and bow to the king and queen, and get our heads shaven (huge SAS tradition). I shaved my head. My mom’s going to kill me.

I’ll write again after Africa…

P.S. a few other notes:
-i get to “walk” for graduation on the ship at the end of the voyage! And instead of graduation robes, we wear life vests for the ceremony. :)
-the Sea Olympics are happening after cape town…i’m so excited. For those who are SAS alum, i’m reppin’ the Aegean Sea. Our Olympics seem to be way earlier in the voyage for some reason (i thought Sea Olympics didn’t happen until towards the end). It’s a day o’ fun with events like synchronized swimming, flip cup, twister, musical chairs, basketball, lip synching contests, etc. Every floor (sea) competes with one another.
-people still call me “pham” on the ship…my good friends do at least. I will forever be known as pham. holler.
-i’m traveling china independently! Paul and i bought our flights early this morning! We’re doing a day in hong kong, 3 days in Beijing (Great Wall), and 1 in shanghai.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Wonder Years

“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners. And change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect who might be searching for us.”

[I received a burned DVD full of episodes of The Wonder Years (along with 8 minute abs videos…long story) as part of a Christmas gift, and it has been amazing to have on this trip. My friend Paul had never seen this show before and i’ve since gotten him addicted. :) this quote is from the end of one of my favorite episodes called “Don’t You Know Anything About Women?”—i think taylor may have said it’s his favorite episode too. Anyhow, the ending scene is of a typical 8th grade dance. The non-existent yet almost tangible interaction between Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper at the end of this scene is so moving and captivating. Throw in “unchained melody” by the righteous brothers playing the in background, and the narrator speaking about young love… call me a sapp, but it’s simply perfect.]

first official SAS post.

Hi from the high seas! I miss everyone from home and I just want to “blog” about my adventures to share and reflect on my experiences thus far.

We’ve been at sea for five out of eight days straight so far since leaving Puerto rico…and these are just the first few of many long days at sea. As expected, one can get a little antsy being on a boat and seeing nothing but open seas for days and days, but it’s also very easy to stay distracted. *As a side note though, we just crossed the equator today! I am now on the southern hemisphere of ze earth :) According to taylor, i should take note of which direction the toilet water spins when i flush now. Haha. it’s summer down here! Jealous? Don’t worry, i still miss snow…sometimes. I feel even further from everyone at home now.

It’s difficult for me to get motivated to sit down and blog because i rarely want to separate myself from other kids on the boat and write. there seems to be WAY too much to talk about and it’s hard to remember all the details. I’d drive you guys nuts if i typed out every little detail of each day and what has been going on here. I’ll try and blog in the most entertaining and “efficient” manner possible.

Although this is an amazing experience that i am so lucky to have and will forever cherish, i will not lie and say the transition was easy. A lot of changes were made abruptly in those first few days of this study abroad experience, and i found myself feeling shocked and confused and questioning whether i had made the right decision in leaving. The first couple days (when the “changes” were still fresh), i had to work hard to convince myself to not be sad, feel lonely, and miss friends and loved ones. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I realized however that this was normal and it required more than simply a few days to fully adjust. i then started beating myself up for feeling sad when i have this opportunity of a lifetime in my hands, and i’ve since been working hard to stay optimistic and live it up and enjoy the PRESENT—it’s what studying abroad is all about. It’s been quite the journey already. **Learning to adjust to and accept change will be my biggest personal challenge.**

Okay i’m gonna talk about some fun stuff. my first day as a study abroad kid was rough…not gonna lie! Some of it being my fault, some of it not. My dad will probably shake his head in disdain if he reads this, because i haven’t told either one of my parents yet that this happened. But the rest of you will probably find it mildly entertaining. I left on Tuesday, January 22nd. I completely misjudged Washington D.C. morning traffic and basically missed my flight!!!! I was supposed to depart from Reagan national airport at 7:15am, but because of insane traffic going into the city, and poor planning and timing on my part, I got to the airport at like, oh, 6:50. Taylor took me to the airport and i could tell he was frustrated—guess i should’ve let him plan out what time was best for us to leave. Whoops. Luckily, the airline was great and figured out that they could put me on a 20 minute jet flight from DC to philly, and fly me from philly to Nassau, Bahamas, and get me there basically at the same time i would’ve gotten there originally. I’m not one to believe in omens or superstition, but i won’t deny it—the thought of “maybe this is a sign that i shouldn’t go on semester at sea” definitely crossed my mind when i missed my flight.

It worked out fine (actually, it was ultimately “fate” because i probably wouldn’t have met my bestest SAS buddies if i hadn’t missed my flight). unfortunately though, because of the flight mix-up, i regret that i had to say a very speedy and flustered goodbye to taylor…not quite how i pictured us saying goodbye. :( it was my fault, but you live and learn from your mistakes… well anyways. i met a girl named Niki after the flight to Nassau and we hit it off from the start. We figured we’d get a cab from the airport to the atlantis hotel and split the fare (smart decision), but US Airways lost one of Niki’s bags, so we had to wait around for quite awhile. We spent that day getting to know each other while exploring the atlantis (huuuuge!). later i met Niki’s friend from home, Ashley. (they’re from New Hampshire…side note: i’ve met a ton of New England kids on SAS…weird for me, given that i’m from midwest Colorado/NoVA). But yeah, Ashley came in later that night, and niki and ash have become my closest friends thus far. We always joke that it was fate that i missed my original flight and got placed on the Philly one. I also met Niki’s temporary roomie in the Atlantis, Steph, and a group of 6 of us went to dinner that night Nassau.

My temporary roommate from the Atlantis, Andrea, is going to KILL me for writing about this on here (if she reads this), but nevertheless i think she and everyone else will get a nice “chuckle” out of this. Our hotel situation was awkward. First off, we had to pay big money $$ to stay in the atlantis… and they placed us in a villa with ONE BED. Now, i honestly have no problem sleeping in the same bed with another girl, but it was definitely bizarre that they gave 2 girls who are complete strangers just one bed. On top of that, our flights had gotten in at different times so we didn’t meet until that night when we had to crawl into bed with each other. Awkward. Super awkward. She came in that night about an hour after i did. I could tell she had been drinking but i didn’t know exactly how drunk she was. Andrea and i had a functional conversation; we talked about NoVA (she’s from Fairfax), boys/boyfriend situations, SAS, and so forth before deciding to go to sleep. Then around 4am, i was awakened because andrea seemed to be in some kind of frenzy. She had somehow moved a large dresser, moved other stuff around and was making lots of noise, kept frantically trying to open the door connecting into the neighbors’ villa!, took a bunch of my clothes (not on purpose, she was confused), used one of my sweatshirts as a door stop because she had propped our front door open and kept pacing in and out! I was nervous and confused and kept asking her if she was okay, but i just felt helpless. She kept saying, “we need to check in to the atlantis!” and “where is all our stuff?!” and “i don’t understand what’s going on!” I tried to calm her down and reassure her that we WERE at the atlantis and we HAD all our luggage and stuff right there. I asked her if she had anxiety (okay that’s the nerdy psychologist coming out of me, but what else was i supposed to think?) and eventually she calmed down… only after i offered/threatened to call her MOTHER. She fell asleep eventually. It was funny the next morning because neither of us addressed what had happened the previous night. We’ve seen each other on the ship since then (and have a class together!) but it wasn’t until last night (so almost 2 weeks later) that we talked about it! I feel bad because she has been feeling really embarrassed about the situation since then. We still have no idea exactly what happened that night and what she was frantically in “search” for, but she thinks she may have some type of sleepwalking disorder…? If so, it’s recently acquired. My theory is she was simply disoriented from being drunk and waking up in such a randomly strange setting. Haha, love you andrea! Anyway, that was my first day/night of the study abroad experience. Way to start things off interestingly.

I won’t go into this much detail with everything else, or i’ll try not to at least. Ship life…ah, the living’s easy. :) the MV Explorer was built in 2001 and is the fastest cruise ship in the world. We can travel up to 31 knots (it’s one fast boat). There are 733 students alone on this voyage – largest in SAS history. Including staff, crew, lifelong learners, and temporary members that come on and off the ship, there’s anywhere from 850 to close to 1,000 people onboard at a time. Colorado is the 2nd state in which most students are from, woo!! (California is #1, surprise surprise.) And better yet, CU represents the most students onboard! GO BUFFS. There’s a whopping 74 of us. Everyone gives us shit for it, but it’s cool. A not-so-fun statistic: it’s 70% girls to 30% guys. That’s 7 girls for every 3 guys. Not so great for the ladies, but we’ll just have to deal with it.

Food’s fine, the crew is incredible. I am trying to get all their names down—they’re amazing, overly nurturing, just wonderful people overall. There’s always lots of distractions for when we’re out at sea—laying out by the pool on the top deck (i’m already 10 shades darker…the sun is toxic out here...wooo!!), working out in the gym (quite an experience trying to run on a treadmill on a rocking boat), yoga in the afternoon, trying to do "8 minute abs" with at least 3 people crammed in our cabin (long story, haha), and pub nights. It’s also nice to find secluded decks when you want some alone time, and just watch the ocean and journal or read. i’m definitely milking it for what it’s worth. My roommate on the ship’s name is ALSO Andrea… luckily she goes by Andy ;) She’s great: from NorCal, goes to Berkeley, and is spunky, perky (more so than me even, which is strange) and enthusiastic. Interestingly enough, she came on this with her boyfriend…who is also from northern Cali but goes to CU. His name is Pedrom (we call him “Ped”) and it’s nice to chat it up with someone who’s chill and knows Boulder. I’m envious that they get to experience this together.

Puerto Rico was our first port and was so much fun! It was the perfect first stop just because it’s still the US and it was a nice little vacation. We spent the first day exploring old San Juan and touring old forts/monuments, shopping, etc. That night, we went out for a fancy dinner and ordered sangria with our meal. Then we explored the bar scene and settled on one where they were playing Ricky Martin LIVE on DVD in the bar!!! Perfecto. I couldn’t stop staring at ricky martin’s crotchal region the entire night—couldn’t help it, i mean it was just…there. Awkward. Dunno if i should have actually typed that out. Anyways, Puerto rico has great local beer! My goal is to try out the local beer in each country. I’m becoming quite the beer expert. In the Bahamas, their local beer is called “Kalik,” and i wasn’t too impressed. It was pretty bitter, reminded me of Stella, but definitely not as good. Puerto Rico has GREAT beer. It’s called “Medalla” and i think it’s a wheat beer. I really enjoyed it. The weather at night in the ‘Rico is extremely comfortable, and it was so much fun to wander around the city without having to worry about being super cautious or how we dressed or getting mugged—we will be have to be on our top game for the next few countries we go to…especially Brazil.

On day two, we walked into town and went to a local starbucks café to use the internet! Sounds lame, but it was refreshing because we really get limited on how much internet we use on the boat (you’re better off not even trying…it’s so slow because we have low bandwidth). It’s a bit challenging but i’m trying to adjust to life without depending on the internet all the time. But it was nice to get in some emailing action. Then, Ashley and i went on a kayak trip. It was called the “seven seas” kayaking trip because it took place near the Bioluminescent Bay (one of the seven wonders of the world—i sadly didn’t get a trip to the Bio Bay). Kayaking was fun—i’ve river rafted, but i’ve never kayaked…in a giant ocean. That night we went to senor frog’s in town. It was fun to get to go dancing…but since it was a Sunday night, senor’s was filled with mostly SAS kids.

We spent the 3rd day getting up early to pick up useful things like snacks and toiletries to use on the ship in the markets of san juan. Then we spent the day at the beach. Ahhh. Puerto rico is perfect—i found it to be so much more appealing than the Bahamas. The Bahamas focuses and depends so much on tourism that it almost takes away from the beauty of the area. I found Puerto rico to be cultured, genuine, and laid back :)

We will get to Brazil on Feb. 5, this coming Tuesday morning. It’s the last day of Carnival and it’s going to be INSANE (and epic). Brazil is the country where we’re really going to have to alert, safe, and wise about traveling. Girls should stick with guys at all times. We are suggested to put our hair up and wear hats and sunglasses. We absolutely cannot wear jewelry and can’t bring digital cameras or wear purses/backpacks—only moneybelts hidden beneath our clothes. During carnival it will not be safe for American tourists to be on the streets. We are going to try and get into the roped-off areas or balcony areas, but it’ll be difficult and expensive to secure a spot. Despite all this I’m still thrilled I’ll get to see and experience Carnival first-hand. And i think as long as we’re all alert, we act confident, and we don’t do anything stupid (like get drunk), we’ll be fine.

Classes have been kept us SUPER busy—probably a good thing. It’s rough because i have 4 credits to graduate and it’s sometimes difficult to take my random classes on the boat seriously, but i do need to finish off well. We are bogged down with a lot of reading; guess the professors just want to keep us busy so we are not laying out by the pool all day. That doesn’t stop me though :)

I guess i’ll finish off with what i have in store for the next few ports- so we're checking out carnival action in brazil, and a couple of my friends and i are also going to a theatre/dinner function where they'll show us martial art forms and dances like capoeira, samba, candomble, and so forth (for those of you dancers who know what i’m talking about). I have so much planned for South Africa…it’s one of the ports i’m most excited for. we are hiking table mountain independently, and i'm going on a 3-day SAFARIIIIII in Kwazulu Natal. I also have to do a field study for my HIV/AIDS class so i will be observing how the Bush Radio project works in Africa. On top of that, i am volunteering with Operation Hunger—it’ll be nice to do a service project; i haven’t done any since my APO days :) In Mauritius, i'm going on a volcano tour thing where we hike up a dormant volcano (it better be dormant at least)—that’s another field study for my Weather/Climate class. i'm also going to this adventure park zip line course…thingy! In India (this is the port i am MOST excited for), i get to go to dehli and see the taj mahal, the ganges river, and the sacred city of the hindus, varanasi. Also, i'm take part in a real live legit indian yoga demonstration. My plans for when we’re in Asia are hazy for now, since we haven’t registered for trips in the 2nd half of our voyage yet…but i’m WICKED excited to see ‘Nam, hong kong, japan, etc. :) by the way, i have learned that everyone from the New England area (aka Boston) seems to think it’s acceptable to replace the words “really” or “very” with “wicked.” I find it to be rather annoying, yet it’s rubbing off. I’m gonna bring this trend to boulder. It’ll be wicked cool.

I hope everyone at home is well…i miss you all (well, most of you…haha) and i think about you guys more than you may realize. Have fun watching the superbowl tomorrow!! someone's parents are gonna send a taping of the superbowl to the ship so we can all watch. it'll get to us in brazil, so that’ll be nice. i heard it's gonna be a superbowl with a record amount of people tuned in! we all know the Giants are in trouble. Not saying i’m rooting for the Pats, i’m just stating the obvious. email me if you have time, i’d love to hear from you when i get the chance to check my email! (jessica.pham@colorado.edu) It’s always nice to hear from home. Take care, everyone! Until next time…

Photos: http://colorado.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2235942&l=af13f&id=10200447

"Pieces"

I’m here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess
Just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I’ve lost so much along the way

Then I’ll see your face
I’ll know I’m finally yours
I’ll find everything
I thought I lost before
You’ll call my name
I’ll come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I’ve come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your hand


Then I’ll see your face
I’ll know I’m finally yours
I’ll find everything
I thought I lost before
You’ll call my name
I’ll come to you in pieces
So you can make whole

I tried so hard, so hard
I tried so hard

Then I’ll see your face
I’ll know I’m finally yours
I’ll find everything
I thought I lost before

You call my name
I’ll come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

--“Pieces” by Red
i love this song. love.

SAS Quotes

quotes i will take with me from SAS so far:
“you had me at ‘wanna share a taxi?’” –referring to how niki and i met on the way from the airport to the hotel in the bahamas

“ve vill hit bad veather in four to five hours. but vat ve can do?” –the captain trying to scare us on our 1st night (he’s ukrainian)

my fave: “duuuuude, you drive this boat?!” –some idiot to the captain of the ship

“that’s squawk-worthy!!!” –niki and i during Killah (cardgame) when we got a good hand

"we're all in the same boat. AH HA HA." -me, niki, & ash talking about our current boy situation

“a stool is medically poop.” –doc brown, ship physician

“sex is not a required course.” –doc brown again, he’s amazing.

“the good thing about this is there’s always something new to look forward to.” –niki referring to the SAS experience when we were feeling a bit homesick

“what’s gonna happen, we’re gonna run around on tippy toes, holding our assholes?!” –conversation about stomach ‘issues’ after india

“WE’RE THE FORTUNATE ONES. WE GET TO DO WHAT MOST PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO.” –carole king, quoted by Al in his speech to us

Sunday, January 6, 2008

setting up the blog.

i've never been a big journaler, so to say...and definitely have never gotten into the whole "blogging" thing. but my buddy amy (who's studying abroad this semester in spain) just told me that my other bud snapp started a blog (and she's in costa rica), so i figured i should do the same. so many memories and events occur while abroad, it's almost impossible to remember every little detail i'm sure! so here it goes, hopefully i stay motivated enough to keep up with this, and that the ship doesn't limit our internet minutes too much (which i know it will).


i leave for the bahamas on january 22nd! it's nuts. i get to spend a day frolicking on the premises of the famous atlantis hotel (it's all about getting a base tan and the sweet water slides), and i'll even have a rando roomie that night. then the next day we set sail on the MV Explorer and head off to puerto rico- wahoo! so far i'm most excited for a 3-day safari i have pre-booked for south africa. we are staying in a tree lodge! and i totally wanna see a liger on my safari. hells yeah. i am really hoping for trips that i can book *hopefully* during my voyage: rio in brazil (we hit brazil at the end of carnaval so it'll be outrageous), dehli/varanasi in india (bollywood, the TAJ MAHAL, and seeing the sacred rituals that happen in the ganges river), and the cambodia trip. i have my fingers crossed.

i've been asked a lot about whether i regret the decision of not finishing my last semester at my home school. i love CU and i'm gonna miss it a lot, but i'll be back in boulder in may. the way i look at it, i simply am finishing out my undergrad career in a big way, goin out with a bang! so hopefully the next time i write i will be chillin by the pool on the upper deck of the booooaaattt. i miss everyone already!

<3 pham

nassau, bahamas
san juan, puerto rico
salvador, brazil
capetown, south africa
port louis, mauritius
chennai, india
penang, malaysia
ho chi minh city, vietnam
hong kong
shanghai, china
kobe, japan
honolulu, hawaii
puntarenas, costa rica
miami, florida - MAY 9, 2008